Sales Pitch
by Patricia L. Hamilton



Dear Cissy,
We received your postcard,
the oversized four-color on slick card stock
that shows you leaning against a "For Sale" sign
with "Sold!" plastered across it in bold typeface,
your smile exuding confidence and a degree of optimism
out of sync with the economic realities of our region.
No matter . . . except we were puzzled to hear from you
out of the blue since we are so comfortably settled
in our home. We pondered why you thought
we might consider moving when we enjoy
all the advantages of a stable neighborhood
with mature trees, close to shopping, schools,
and an excellent hospital. While our house
isn't the newest on our block, its square footage
perfectly meets our family's needs, and the floor plan
provides a good flow for entertaining. We asked ourselves
if you might think we aren't neighborly enough,
but we always return your manic wave when you roar by
in your big, black Cadillac Escalade on your way home
to the upscale subdivision bordering ours. By the way,
we were surprised to learn which house you live in,
not that we couldn’t predict you’d choose a property
overlooking the Country Club’s lush green golf course.
No, the house itself is what raised our eyebrows--
so “suburban seventies ranch” amid all the neo-colonials
with their vibrant window boxes and hanging ferns,
so dully monochromatic without any contrasting trim,
and that drab gray as inviting as a sink of dirty dishwater.
We've been wondering--have you ever considered upgrading
to something with more curb appeal?





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